‘Basically Done’ Project Enters Sixth Month Of Final Two Days

SATIRE / FICTION

This is an original fictional story. The characters, organizations, events and dialogue are invented.

A commercial roofing project entered the sixth month of its final two days Monday, maintaining a closeout schedule in which the remaining time is unaffected by the passage of actual time.

The project manager first reported that the job needed “a couple more days” in spring. Subsequent updates have refined that estimate to two days, another day or two, and two good days if everything lines up.

“The work itself isn’t the issue,” the manager said. “It’s getting the last little things together. Once we have those, we’re basically there.”

The last little things have included a customer sign-off, final quantities, a missing photo set, and a document described in five meetings as already sent. Each completed item has revealed another item previously concealed behind the word just.

Accounting maintains two calendars. One records dates; the other records assurances. The second is fuller but has yet to produce a month-end forecast.

In July, the project moved from basically done to waiting on one thing. That thing arrived in August, at which point the team discovered it had been waiting on the wrong version.

A revised closeout list briefly reduced the remaining items to three. One was then divided into four smaller items so the team could show progress.

The customer has asked what remains. The latest response explains that nothing major remains, followed by an attachment containing enough minor items to require a second page.

The manager rejected the suggestion that the timeline had slipped. “We haven’t changed the duration,” the manager said. “It’s still two days.”

At Monday’s meeting, everyone agreed the project needed a final push. The phrase was entered in the minutes alongside the final pushes agreed in June, July, August, and September.

The manager remains confident that one good push will get it over the line.